I’m really struggling right now with some decisions. In the last six months, Mrs.A and I have really stepped up our commitments to church. She has made some very positive changes in her life, and I would like to do the same.
Because she is in school, I was spending a significant portion (99.5%, plus-or-minus .5%) of my “gaming” time simply reading, either reading corebooks (I got Scion:Demigod for Christmas) or reading forum posts on RPG.net or white-wolf’s forum site. So I decided that because it was distracting me anyway, I’d put away all of my books for the Easter season. I gave up reading RPG books for Lent.
The first few days were pretty good; I had a few stressful days at work, where all I wanted to do was curl up with an entertainment book or read forum posts, but I fought the urge for the most part. I did slip a little, but the main meat – no reading the books – stayed consistent.
Well, now Lent is over. Corporate finally blocked whatever WebSense category covers rpg.net’s forums, so I can’t read those at work anymore, and because Mrs.A is using our computer at home for her homework most nights, I’m not reading the books there either.
The problem? I feel that my interest in RPGs has become a crutch for me. It’s extremely easy to spend time at work on scenario planning and character template stuff while looking like I’m doing actual work. This is not good time-stewardship.
Also: time that I was spending on reading corebooks and forum posts at home is time I could be spending with a more godly focus. That, plus our various financial issues, is pushing me to think about selling my RPG books (and dice).
The only problem is: I like gaming. A lot. It’s a creative outlet, and it’s a stress reliever. It’s a silly confession, but I am so incredibly excited that my daughter is getting closer now to interactive storytelling. Saturday, we built a boat together out of blocks, and she asked me to tell her a story about the boat. So I made up part of a story, and asked her where the boat was going, etc. I was so incredibly excited to be able to do that kind of stuff with her.
But doing that makes me want more.
This is plenty long for one post; more forthcoming.
